Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
