You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
