Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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