I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think I sprained my soul last night
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
