gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
