Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
