Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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