don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
