I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
