Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
