So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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