Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
