he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
