Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
