I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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