why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
sex in a hospital.. check
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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