This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
