Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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