hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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