never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
