ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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