Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
