I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
