All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
