You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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