I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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