were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
