38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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