This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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