I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Someone came in the potted fern
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
