We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
