remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
