every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
