just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
