Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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