am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
