i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
