apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
is wine microwaveable?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
