Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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