You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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