He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
