Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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