Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
