so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
