I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
