I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
