We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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