The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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