He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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