so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
