if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
