drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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