but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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