Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
