he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize