I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize