I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
