help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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