worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
