my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
