he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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