Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
