I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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