I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
