theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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