my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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