Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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