you would pick up someone in the library
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
