If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
wow bdsm is so cute
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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