I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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