Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
